On my morning walk, I stopped to observe what appeared to be an insect riding on the back of a moving slug. Perhaps the insect was tired, bored, or was devouring an even smaller parasite on that slug’s back. Or maybe, just maybe…………… it was dining on the slug itself!
YUCK!!
But it did occur to me in the moment that, we, as humans, have developed many, many modes of transportation, and that I, personally, have travelled in many ways. In fact, the more I thought about it, I was astounded at the sheer number of ways and modes of transportation I have used in my lifetime simply to get Up and Down, from Point A to Point B, Hither and Thither, from Top to Bottom, Far and Wide, from Place to Place, from Station to Station, and from Here to There.
Here we go:
Moments before I took my first breath, I went on my first travels as I rode down that long tunnel to the bright light. As we all did. Just think about that awesome maiden voyage for a second! Hmmm.
As a baby, I traveled in my mother’s arms, my father’s arms, and the arms of a great many relatives and friends of the family. I rode in a buggy, a baby stroller, a red wagon, a plastic wagon, on my father’s shoulders, and piggy back on the strong spines of uncles, aunts, grandparents, and my siblings. Even on the neighbour’s dog (although the neighbour never found out). But never on the cat did I try to go Hither and Thither. Meow.
On my uncle’s farm, I loved to ride on the back of the hay wagon!
As I grew older, I crawled, walked, ran, skipped, hopped, jumped, did cartwheels, forward rolls, backward rolls, crossed monkey bars by hanging from my arms, climbed trees, slid along ropes, bounced myself across the yard from a trampoline, and swung from one branch to another while howling like Tarzan. I swam, learned to walk on my hands, skateboarded, ice skated, roller-skated, rollerbladed, rode a bicycle, and a unicycle, and hopped on a pogo stick across the yard and driveway. Even today, when I see ice on the road or sidewalk, I’ll run at it and use my momentum to slide from Point A to Point B.
I remember my boyhood tricycle. I was a good driver. And I rode it. All. By. My. Self!
By the age of ten, I was quite adept at walking a tightrope. “Balance” was my middle name!
I’ve travelled a snowy hill from Top to Bottom on cardboard, a sleigh, a Crazy Carpet, a toboggan, shoe skis, various pieces of plastic, downhill skis, cross-country skis, Telemark skis, snowboards, on my back, and on my butt. I’ve been on a snowmobile and a horse sleigh, and have walked many, many kilometers on snowshoes, Far and Wide.
I frequently used a ladder to crawl up on the roof, and once shinnied up a flagpole to loosen a knot. How many people can say they got from Point A to Point B by climbing a flagpole? Not many, that’s for sure.
Once, as a toddler, I flew through the air, unintentionally getting from Here to There, after being head-butted by a Billy goat. Ouch!
On the water, I’ve been in a canoe, kayak, rowboat, motorboat, jet ski, fishing boat, sailboat, ferry, yacht, surfboard, and I raced down a river in a white-water raft. And when I was thrown from the raft, uh oh, I raced down the river on my life jacket! I also once floated down a river on a piece of ice. I’ve been dragged behind boats on water skis, water boards, and an inner tube. And (prepare yourself for the excitement of this reveal), I swung on a rope from a hill out over the water and let go without killing myself. And…I jumped off many a cliff into the water to get from Way Up Here to Way Down There. Hurray!
But, sadly, I’ve never been on a paddleboard. Sniff!
Happy news though! I’ve been on a roller coaster, a Ferris wheel, a merry-go-round, and I’ve vomited on nearly every kind of amusement ride available. Yes, it’s true, bits of my consumed cotton candy and amusement park hotdogs are, yuck, scattered all over this planet. (TMI?)
In the mountains, I’ve rappelled down ropes, gone sliding down slopes of scree and ice, and glissaded down snowy inclines. I even leapt across crevasses and streams to get from Here to There.
In the air, I’ve flown in more types of planes than I can accurately name and, as a gift from an uncle, coasted over the meadows in a hot air balloon. As a boy, I was even pulled from my feet when a strong gust of wind caught my kite, taking me from Down Here to Up There. Ooowee!
And underground, I frequently rode the subway from Station to Station.
In the military, I drove a jeep and an armored personnel carrier, and rode in a tank, supply truck, ambulance, helicopter, and supply plane to get from Place to Place.
I rode a zip line, coasted from a plane to the ground frequently with a parachute, and once fell an exhilarating distance attached to a bungee cord, a thin little lifeline connecting me from Point A to Point B. Whew!
Animals have been intriguing to me my whole life. I don’t tend to ride them now, but as a youngling, I rode on the backs of a camel, dromedary, horse, donkey, elephant, and was dragged along the surface of the water by some dolphins. (Or were they porpoises?) But I’ve not been on an ostrich to travel Hither and Thither! Or a porcupine, for that matter. Dear me!
On land, I’ve been in a tow truck, van, pickup truck, dump truck, digger, tractor, street sweeper, train (including a steam-powered train), limo, taxi, station wagon, SUV, panel van, school bus, highway bus, chicken bus, and a tuk tuk. I’ve also ridden in a transport truck, a flatbed truck, a milk truck, and a garbage truck to go from Place to Place. I was even a passenger in an ice cream truck as the music played to attract the neighbourhood children. Mmm, ice cream.
Yep, I’ve even ridden in a Zamboni as it went Round and Round. I am Canadian after all.
Did I mention I’ve gone Up and Down on an elevator? And an escalator! And don’t forget those airport walking conveyor belts. I walk extra fast on those things. Yes, I do!!
I’ve ridden a motorcycle, moped, and have the notoriety of being thrown from a scooter in Nicaragua. (Note: t-shirts, shorts, and sandals are not good protection for sliding along asphalt. Waaaaa!)
What else? Oh yes, I’ve been in a car. It’s where I received my first teenaged kiss. Mmm, memories. (Uh, completely against my will. Honestly, Mom.)
But I have never, never, (and I mean) NEVER, been transported on the back of a Slug! And probably never will be. But we’ll see. (Wink)